Wednesday, November 30, 2005

tRipLe H poTtEr


haha, that's from mad tv. nung nag-guest si triple h sa isang episode. haha, laugh trip. jack tv. i watch it with my family, hehe... obvious bang buang kami? haha. basta. you have to watch that!!! grabe, ang hirap ikwento, hehe... basta. HAHAHA...

ay, baliw. no, im not watching it ryt now. my dormmates don't have the temperament to watch stuff like that. i just remembered it kasi. it's the phrase na my family has been laughing about nung weekend, the kind of phrase na never grows old. para bang ung "put a shirt on! you might poke someone's eye out!!!" from sinbad, haha... ay, graveeeeh.

tRipLe H poTteR!!!

hehe...


<<-->>


no contributions were accepted sa heights. none. to use verne's words, "it's tragic." snort. it's bloody murder, that's what it is!!! kainin ko kayong lahat!!! why ask for contribs kung wala kayong tatanggapin?!!!!

wadapak?

ahem. tama na. there are post-delibs, where u talk about ur stuff and u shit. im still thinking if i go or not. ewan.

galit ako.


<<-->>


binasa ni verne ung mga archives ko this afternoon, hehe. he turned to me and said, with a touch of wonder, "crush mo si paolo?!"

HAHAHAHAHA. that just makes me wanna double over in mirth and/or turn into a one-celled organism in humiliation. hai. verne, verne, verne, verne... dati yun. besides, dati, everyone had a crush on the dude. staple crush. haha. parang bigas. nyok. basta. tama na yun. past is past, peepz. haha, what a statement!!!

basta. im sticking to show crushes for now.

spekinovwich, i kent belib na model si gago. the creep. that makes it soooo... weird. i don't know. it kinda turns me into a deranged fan. YUUUUCK. no more celebs, man.

on the other hand, it justifies the "show crush" mode. hmmm...

teka, i promised u an emo post, dava?

eto.


<<-->>


it's not like you don't know me. it's just that you aren't aware of me. oh, darling dear, you know me. you know me. we're friends, i think. yes, we are. friends friends. it's fun, these pretensions. whenever we're talking, i block everything out, even myself. i try not notice whatever tiny voices are inside my head. but im happy. it's good. we're friends. that's easier. no drama.

and everyday, i get to hear more of your voice.


<<-->>


emo post is over, mygash!!! haha. ende siya si migs. yun ang clarification. haha. ay, buhay na to oh, ang daming gulo. lalake, tsk tsk.

natsumi: stop sniggering over my archives!!!

verne: forgive the utter girliness of most of my posts.

toodles!!!

iNaAway akO ni nAtsuMi


she's reading all my archives, my previous posts. ahh!!! the stink that is my past!!! growwwwl. haha, binabalikan ni bruja ang aking mga adventures with, eherm, gab, paolo, kelvin... pochaandamia!!! aray ko, nahihiya na talaga ko... shheeehhht.

it's ze past. kadiri. si gab, si paolo, si kelvin. kadiri kayo lahat. haha, dyoklang. basta. it's obur en dahn!!!

tama na po!!! :D

waaaah, im hungry!!!

pLaCes yOu hAve coMe to fEar tHe mOst


haha, that's an episode from one tree hill... ;p ...at least cnabi ko ang source... hargh. hargh.

on to more pressing matters...

im at rsf, with natsumay and verne... harrrrgh. at the dorm, there is a cold cup of rice and frozen hotdogs. yum yum.

let me trace the day... i woke up to the sight of gabie in her underwear (mismatched, hehe) tas i went back to sleep. tas ginising niya uli ako mga quarter past 6. fine, gumising na ko tas i found out na i was frozen pala, practically grafted on my bed with the cold. fine. so i ironed my sweater. haha. tas naligo ako.

wow, exciting...

i thot i was late na for english pero ende pa pala. went there, did english and lit stuff tas kris kringle!!! hehe, the highlight of my dayyy. i got looong earrings cuz the theme is "long and slimy." there was a note attached: "sasha, yung slimy part ung flap." haha. funny. funny. ehhh.

ahem. tas i waited for what seemed like an eterenity for botaneeh. nasa caf kami nun. uhm. lemmesee: jev, isel, verne, sandi, wed, nikay, april and aila. wahoo. on the other table, not far from us, was the rest of our block. S---- o- S------. wiz zeir voifrenz. bwahahaha, behave.

botaneeh was a drrragg.

after bot, we kinda had problems with the wire thingy but all is good. tas migs--ickmalemodelmalemodelmalemodel--kept popping up everywhere. get outta my life man, away, shoo, shoo!!!

eherm. yuf, yuf, he's a model. yakkkers. teka. ngayon ko lang nalaman. fowchanamano.

eniwei, since natsumi is the beadle of our fil block -- fine, so it's charz but it's in name only, haha -- we waited for the other pipol to pay her. haha, umutang pa sakin si gaga kasi ende nagbayad yung iba samin. wahoo.

i ate paolo's bagel. actually, linait ko muna bago ko kinain. yum yum...

hm. after this, ima go home, write an emo post, and forget that i have school tomorrow. hai, daz life. ai, shiteroo... my hotdogs and rice pa pala... oopsies.

toodles.

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

bLeEdiNg tHumBs


masakit ang thumbs ko. yun. sunbeams and shit. basta, it hurts. ouchies ang putcha... grrr. blisters... arnis... tanong: pano ka magkakablisters sa thumbs?! eh ganun yun eh! wag na umangal, ende naman ikaw yung nasasaktan!!!

nyok, nyok. emo.

nice coat. hehehe. kilala mo na kung sino ka, buwahahaha!!!

Saturday, November 26, 2005

suRvivOrs


im wearing my mom's pink camisole, my father's polo shirt, my uncle's chucks, and my unwashed jeans. life is gooood, babeeh.

hehe.

enihus, i went to hawell howne, my dear alma mater. ha. my "friends" were there. hmmm. kelly was dancing with don and kristel and sum more people. wala. ano ba.

ay naku, basta maraming tao.

hmm.

si zelle. yun. etong babae na lang yung pag-uusapan ko. hai, laaaaaaaaayp. dami na naming napagdaanan ng girlaloo na to. haaargh. kaasar, hehe. why? inaaway kasi siya nung mga tao sa paligid nya. ay, shucks, that's is sooo high school. ano ba? move on, demmit!!! nakunaman!!!

tsk, tsk, tsk. mga gels en boys, tama na. stop the hating. haven't a done enough? haven't u created enough havoc to last a friggin lifetime?!

nakuuuu.... zelle, i miss u soooo much. remember this? haha... sumabog ung kusina nung pinagreretreat-an natin, tapos after that, nagpicture-taking pa tayo?! hehe... "survivors!" :D


tas si adrian nagtatampo sa akin, hehehe... :p

this is vile--but i dont care cuz wat theyve done to me is even viler--but im having this perverse pleasure at hearing that the bleeping choir is having its shakes and tumbles. hmm. i cursed them. i did. but aniwei, fate myt laugh at me in the end cuz the group myt last til every1 of the oldies are chugi. life works that way sumtyms--"good" over "evil." hahaha. it all depends on ur fucking perception baby.

basta tayo, zelle... naku. girl, we aren't best friends cuz i don't think that that shallow a phrase is enuf to describe wat we have. hmm. besyds, we have other meanings for "best friends" -- nudge nudge, wink wink... :D

laSt nigHt


8:45, we piled into the car, me carrying mom's clothes. she's in a party, wearing a dress my dad has been grumbling about. my mom calledat around 9, to tell us na either we drive verrrry slow o mamaya pa kami pumunta dun. we opted for the latter... nanood kami ng taboo tuesday, hehe... first thirty minutes lang...

so, we went to westin. mom had this preeeetty dress. haha, ima wear it sumtym... hehe... anyhu, yun. sinundo namin siya, she changed. punta kami star city. sarado na. pumunta kami baywalk, kumain ng hotdog tas umuwi na kami. lots happened in between... hehe. it was fun. fun. fun.

pramisss...

no, not really.

on the way to westin, i saw someone die. i had no nightmares.

ayoko ikwento. it desensitizes me more...

sige. punta na ko harrell... hehe, usapan 9 pero ende pa ko bihissss...

Friday, November 25, 2005

wHat? huH? teKa.


fled from botany. nope. wait. i went to the libe first to take out sylvia plath, maya angelou and pablo neruda. leisure reading. hehe. tas yun. lumipad na ko papuntang cavite. hehe... took the lrt trainssss. stood the whole time. aray...

kahit na. im home...

bumaba ako dun sa seven-eleven... dapat, sasakay na ko ng trike. ewan ko ba kung bakit pumasok ako. yun. pagpasok ko, andun sina nover at lawrence. hugs, small talk. tas i dawdled pa. nung paglabas ko, sakto, sila kelly at paola bumaba sa jeep!!! waaah!!! nagtilian kami sa kanto, hehe... ay, crazeeeh.

pumunta kami sa harrell--dahndahndahnDAAAAHHHNNN. hehe. miss queenie, mrs. corpuz, sir faeldo, SIR BAESSS!!! (ahlavyu!), miss nenu, miss ochon, sir esqui, miss agustin... grabeeeh, ang dameeeh!!! kahit nga si ma'am luz andun!!! in fernez, ang landi niya, hehe... proud na proud sa kanyang weight loss, hehe... basta, she's pretty. naka-pink pa nga siya eh... tas ang haba ng hair niya. literally...

wala lang, i helped around with my baby, the scribe... hehe... i made a poem pa nga, on the spot. masayaaaa.

wala. it's fun. tomorrow, may meeting ang alumni--ahhh! kasali akosh!!!--sa harrell about this brainchild of kelly. sana matuloy. para masaya. i doubt it, hehe... pocha, babush... we're gonna go to star citttyyy pa!!! hehe... :)

Thursday, November 24, 2005

i hAve spArRed


my arms hurt. biceps, triceps, basta ceps. haha. arnis was cute. cute, hehe. kung pumasok si charz eh di sana siya yung ka-spar ko, bwahahaha. lagot yun sa kin at mas marami akong alam kesa sa kanya. yahoooo. hehe...

aherm. to more serious things.

math sucked. fil was so-so, arnis was the highlight of my day. yun. and tomorrow, i face more demons: botany and english. havent studied, havent made my metafora paper. yehey. i am a dung beetle rolling shit up the hill. ayos.

i need to get a hold of myself. kelangan mag-seryoso. kelangan. no more cramming. no more procrastinating!!!

--pwede simulan next week?

uwi ako bukas. hai. i miss home. it's crazy there. sometimes, it's sad. but i wuv those people... hay, emo shit.

im scared of my friends. for my friends.

uulitin ko: i will be serious. ima be a freak.

teka, i alredi am...


<<-->>


to natsumi: hoi, babae!!! hehe. whattup?! ano yung ikukuwento mo sakin? hehe... if u wanna see the thing about migs, nobembur sebentin.

spekinovwitch, andun siya kanina. sigh.

agh. toodles.

i aM toMorRow's fiRst kiSs


i can't get that phrase outta my head... im supposed to create a metaphor for myself tas ill explain it in an essay. that metaphor just popped in my noggin. weird. but what could it mean, demmit?!

to other things.

sex is the original sin, she says.

really? sabi ko.

and we look at each other.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

wiNgs


i walked away from literature and saw a girl holding a pair of angel's wings.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

sHe oF tHe bLeEdiNg paLms


hmm. that's a nice title. i'll use it sometime.

spekinovwitch, the deadline for the heights thingy has been moved to december 9. harhar. controversial ang heights... may mga biases.

minimalist shitstains.

eniwei... i just came from school--yey, ala si gabie!!!--tapos ate vina asked me kung aking yung laptop na to. yup, it's mine. patay. hehe. 700 pesos eh. bwahaha. i wasn't trying to hide it. i was just trying to play it cool until i dump that 700 before the xmas break.

nag-arnis ako. haha. sakit ng palms ko. i dunno how to twirl the sticks. i made a fool of myself there. naku, naku, naku.

fil, we continued to watch kitchen stories. im starting to like prof baldy. hehe. we had our class sa ching tan room, nakana, sosy. though i had a feeling na if we stayed longer, my ass wouldve frozen off, it's still cool na dun ung class namin. eh ganun eh.

ive been wondering about a classmate of mine. i lost her.

hmm. math. math was weird. crazy ung teacher namin. kindergarten teacher. cute. don't get me wrong. she's nice... it's just that ung teacher namin last sem was a dragon so medyo adjust parin kami...

im overwhelmed. this will help me out, hehe...


lOve... sOft aS aN eAsy chAiR... yOu kNow tHe neXt liNe...


“love is torture.”

i look at cat. somehow i can’t imagine those two beings--love and cat--together. “yes,” i say slowly. “love is torture.”

she looks at me strangely. Then, “lab, sasha. i said, lab.”

oh.

“but yeah,” she concedes. “love’s torture.”

<<-->>

it’s torture. self-inflicted, most of the time. hai. deep, deep down, we are all sado-masochists.

take this girl. she’s nineteen. a freshman at an exclusive school for girls. there she is, in that plain uniform, made extra-special with high-heeled pumps, dozens of bangles, numerous gold earrings, a “rattan” bag made of plastic. hair in a high ponytail, eyes lined, cheeks rouged, lips glossed. the whole shebang.

every night—or whenever no one’s using the phone—she goes online to talk to the man she loves. hmm.

he’s a 30-year-old married man. with a child.

i hate adulterers, okay? don’t ask why. basta. I hate them.

and i also can’t help but hate their women.

meron naman daw justifications yung love affair na to… haven’t i been the sounding board of all of them? …as if saying them out loud can convince herself.

aside form the fact that they’re star-crossed lovers....

it was a shotgun wedding, the guy’s. the woman he married had threatened to kill herself after they had sex. fucking creates life, after all, even a drunken tryst such as that. doing the noble thing, the guy married her. aw, fuck, so romantic.

nine months later, still no baby. surprise.

the guy is the friend of the family. of the father’s actually.

the mother of the girl knows. she’s heartbroken.

the girl and the boy—they haven’t had sex naman daw. he’s in Dubai. what they have is something deeper. daw. hmm… does that mean na the lack of sex in a relationship adds depth to it? makes it truer?

and i don’t like the way she’s in love. maybe because people who aren’t in love naturally despise those who are. or pity them. it all depends.

eniwei, love has made her selfish. my mom’s asking me—in those rare chances that i get to talk to her—if ive been talking to my boyfriend since the phones are all clogged. mom. come on. you can at least pretend that im your little girl who’s NBSB.

love has made her even more grammatically-challenged.

love has made her forget that she spent thirty minutes scaling the locked gate of our dorm once she sits in front of her laptop. (another long story.)

love has made her leave her (used) panties on the floor more often than usual.

love has made her sleep at 1 in the morning for a 7:30 class a few hours later.

love has made her pore over A Walk to Remember as if it is a Bible.

love has made her move into a cheaper room—my room—because the extra thousand will let her buy internet cards.

love has made me shake my head in sorrow. it’s not right, no matter how much she romanticizes it. fine. fuck it all, it’s true love. but there’s a child. a child who looks up to her. there’s a woman—it doesn’t matter how vile she’s been described to me—who lies beside her husband at night, completely aware that she never had his heart and is now battling someone she cannot fight. because a woman knows. knows. a look. a kiss. a touch. sex. words. laughter. even the way he suddenly loves working (internet connection and privacy.) please. she may be a cold-hearted monster for all you’ve told me about her but she has a heart, damn it. she feels these things. she knows that the man she vowed to be with for life has betrayed her in a more… more, agh, in a cruder fashion than sex.

damn it. even the child knows these kinds of things. ano ba?!

hai.

when I go out of this room to get what is left of my flat tops, i’ll see her, dressed in skimpy shorts that tells me she didn’t shave her legs that morning. she’s in that corner, monstrous headphones around her head, a marshmallow mic between her lips, muttering nonsense, laughing hysterically as my other dormmates watch the emo part of A Cinderella Story.

nightie-night.

Monday, November 21, 2005

fAnz eN mAi dEi


i do not have fans. not yet.

i dunno. i just find it amusing that, well, people have fans. ima fan myself of sum fan-deserving people. basta gets nyo na yuuun.

readers. strangers. please don’t, um, fan-ize me. im not fan-ize-able yet. sorry. come back when ive published a good book, please. hehe… ayoko naman ng, er, devotees cuz i, let’s see… don’t always brush my hair to keep the curls curly.

tas, gene, flattered. but kinda creeped out, haha. sino ka? parang kilala kita eh… hmmm…. gene ba talaga?!



<< -- >>


i was talking about the question thingy sa blog ko and ze questions se readers—you, hehe—to sandi, nikay and a mind-wandering cat.

“parang yung kay saab?” nikay said, referring to our blockmate. (if u wanna check her blog out, it’s at my sidebar.

“yep,” sabi ko.

“bat ang dami niyang fans, no?” kinda derisive.

hmmm.


<< -- >>


halllooo. what happened today at school? wala naman masyado. stuff. school stuff. the supposed other center of my life. school. college. yiffeeeee.

wookie. after my post dun sa baba, went to the ateneo art gallery… hehe. i know i was supposed to study that fil thing. don’t worry. nabasa ko na. eniwei, i went to the art gallery. so cooooool there inside. bago na naman, durghh. i love the glass thingies. walang title eh. ailuvit. and i wanna go to the ayala museum.

hmmm. i made a poem. but since im not a poet, i won’t post it here. haha. yun.

sa botany lecture, instead of focusing all my energies on writing the lecture and listening to the prof, i kept doodling, Why am I not getting this? Am I supposed to understand all this shit? ah, it was glorious, written beside prokaryotic and eukaryotic cells. hmmmmpherrrrrssss.

candie cutie. snort. ima google that dude. who am i talking about? marco. haha. seatmate ko sa botaneeeh.

lab. lab. lavvvv. wala. we listed stuff. agh. basta.

too much chicken munchkins.


<< -- >>


my mom’s looking for DJs naman. lights and sounds… o, eto, advertisement uli:

heya. christmas party at westin sa december 10, from 8 til midnight. DJ, sounds and lights. the whole shebangers. hehe. we’ll feed you. and I’ll be there to annoy the hell out of you.

sabi ni ma, your primary job is to tell people to “dance! don’t think you’re somewhere else!!!”

same thing: 80s, 90s, present, dance-ish.

tas i asked for help from paolo. oo, si paolo jose. yun. there. hehe. tanong ko siya if he knows sum djs or bands. bands daw, he’s gonna ask around. thanks, bub. thanks.

toodles.

siX monArch butTerfLies


old habits die hard, baby. but at least i made it until the second week before i gave in to my already-instilled instinct--there must be a single, precise word for all that--to go to the rsf and do my business.

so. here i am. rsf. doing my business. by all means i should be studying for botany... thorn in my butt. i should also be reading my as yet untouched filipino handouts. mamaya na.

ha.

promise. i'll go to the library, freeze there, review on my botany stuff... squeeze in the filipino thing. kayang-kaya. snort. snort.

was almost late for english. bwahahaha. i woke up at quarter to 7. bait ko, grabe. tas wala pang tricycle tas naglakad ako from jollibee to berch. wahooo. buti na lang nauna ko kay miss lin ng thirty seconds. hehe. im sooooo luckheee.

i got into daydream mode. hmmm. about security guards and Jags and crumpled hundred-peso bills. it's all a cursed existence. lucky me.

ive long ago stopped asking why. i don't want to know who to blame cuz i love the peopl involved. what's the use? it's all been done. i can't change the past. the future is as yet unwritten. im in the now. and im holding the damned pen.

just work hard, sasha. work hard, have fun and... well, dream.

what the hell am i talking about? wala. i just needed to write it all down. breathe.

sige, punta na kong libe... if im not distracted on the way, that is.

toodles.

Sunday, November 20, 2005

tHe mAtTer oF tHe quEstiOns


you guys have been asking me stuff in my cbox. binubura ko lang. matagal na kong may answer page, ende ko lang nalagay sa blog na to kasi tatanga-tanga ako. tanggap ko na yun, hehe. anyway, ive collected sum questions over da time... so, ngayon na may kailangan akong gawin sa filipino at botany, ngayon ko aasikasuhin yung blog ko.

logical, daba?!

anyways, you can ask your questions any way u want to. pero, be kind to me and ask me through that section in my sidebar called sabi. a monkey can figure out what to do next. to see the answer to yah question, click on satisfaction sa sagot portion. okay? kung ayaw mo, go to www.zetanowng.blogspot.com...

masaya na tayong lahat. temang, i lab yu.

sTaNisLav iAnEvsKi




the name alone makes me hot all over. (nudge-nudge, wink-wink.)

nosebleed.
hands off, baby.
oh, shit. look at that scowl. growl.
and then, there's that ghost of a smile.


peEneEeEshhh!!!!


pano ba yan, ang ganda ko?

wala. just tweaking my blog. tinatanong na ko ng roommate kong si riza kung kelan ko balak gawin yung nakatambak kong mga assignment dun sa common room.

pag nagunaw na mundo, sabi ko.

fine.

<<-->>

finish ko na po yung pag-ayos ng blog ko... hehehe...

pRoCrAstiNatiOn iS aN aRt, bAbeEh


im feeling nostalgic. maybe it's my own pathetic existence. somebody save me.

i haven't read what prof baldy gave us. great. fantastic, actually. tapos ung botany pa. growl. gerry's telling me pa how easy physics is. oh my goooshness, what have i gotten myself into?! pero that's that. lately, my philosophy in life is... got a problem. face it and plow head-on. in short, deal with it. not very much proactive, i know. but hey, im sixteen. give me a break once in a while. ive been adult my whole life.

what na? im bored. and procrastinating. yey me... did nothing but download pics from the net. ay, saya. pics of...? the great ones. ava gardner, greta garbo, katharine hepburn, audrey hepburn. and gary cooper, kasi he's hot. i'm in my black-and-white stage right now.

hai, sasha. i can already see the consequences. one, you run out of net load. two, your dormmates will deem you inconsiderate, the way they--and you--deem gabie. three, you won't get to do any of your work.

pakershit.

for breakfast, i ate four and a half pieces of burnt toast. a cup of coffee that was too disgusting for me to finish, and a flat top. if i were anyone else... i were.. well. yun... id be having... eggs with tomatoes and sausages in them. sinangag. perrrfect.

im gonna go. but i'll be back. count on it.

vaGue aCheS


there are aches around my midsection, sharp aches, like forks digging into my gut. solar plexus, maybe. (ive always been fond of that word... the way men would fight each other over a woman, always aiming for that vulnerable part, which is rare, in a hard, strong man's body.) no, i think forks are too mild. i feel as if ive swallowed a stone and it's now lodged inside my body. growing. tearig the flesh, the muscle. the living being surrounding it.

my botany teacher said that a virus will only be regarded as a living being if and only if it lives in a host. i am yet to fully comprehend the profundity of that tidbit of information.

and then there are also vague aches above those sharp aches. vague aches where that fuzzy feeling i once mentioned now resides. it's a funny feeling. that pain is dull and throbbing but it's a pain nonetheless. i have a migraine too but that's too easily ignorable. pain. when it's in this part of my body, i'd be a rock not to feel it.

no, that would be unfair to the rock. rocks can feel. rocks have souls. more... for lack of a better word, alive than me.

hmm. what is it?

the fuzzy feeling's gone. long gone.

let me sleep. curl up underneath the sheets refusing to warm with my own frozen body. nurse the jabbing pain under my ribs. that concrete pain, i can handle. cry, no, scream. that's easy.

it's that unexplainable feeling in the middle of my chest that's overwhelming.

fuck it all, i'm dying.

Saturday, November 19, 2005

weEeEkEeEeeeEeeEnNnd


it's the weekend, babeeeeh. ano gagawin ko? ala. ay, marami pala. assignments. growl. i need to read the stuff from prof. baldy. tas yung sa lab and lecture pa. botaneeh. hai. ano pa? math. math. ay, siya.

bat ba banas na banas ako eh kaya nga ako nasa school is because ako'y nag-aaral. baliw.

ayoko maglaba this weekend. nagpalaundry ako.

hmmm. i read na rita hayworth and the shawshank redemption kasi sabi ni mommy. fine. humiram ako ng book from sandi. yun. i read it. done. ganda, super. it's kindabout hope. after i read it, i got this fuzzy feeling inside me cuz i started hoping.

i had a dream last night. it was disconcerting.

reading pablo neruda. hmmm. that's after watching the movie. pero hey, i have his poems in mp3 version naman eh. yun. so.

ano na?

iM scRewEd


tapos na yung issue na yun. im good. im good. daluvofmylife is ambivalent as of now, re the whole thing. binangungot daw si lexa kagabi. ha. buti nga.

i need to erase evert's pic from my friendster acct. fine. more work.

o, eto pa, work: my mom wants me to find a choreographer for their christmas party... im having trouble contacting the only one i know. fine. ill hunt him down through friendster. second task, harder this time, is to find a band. o, eto na.

my mom needs a band. the repertoire must be, er, massive. think present, nineties, eighties, dance tunes (it is a party after all). malaki bayad, promise. the company christmas party is at westin, december 10, 8 to 12 mn. sige na naman oh. make my mommie proud, hehe.

o yan, nag-ad na ko. sige na. go. my mom needs youuuuu.

my exes (ha, parang marami) have belonged to bands. my present (?!) is in one. pano ba yan?

sige na o. help me out.

Friday, November 18, 2005

tAma Na


i overreacted. it's true. my sanity and logic, rationale, blah-blah was set aside to give way to the anger i feel for this chaos. nakana. medyo galit pa rin ako sa brujang yun. ewan. she did damage control daw but who knows? by monday, i'll be... shiver.

hainaku. to the love of my life... ay, siya. i love you. kaw yun, ende siya.

basta. tama na ang dramang to. ende naman siya true so ano pa yung point? how many times have you stuck your nose up at what people said about you?

toodles.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

cRyiNg. toRreNts. eDdiE. miGs. hiM.


im crying right now. u know: tears. yep. i cry. the reason this time? well... eddie guerrero's dead. heart failure daw. (my mom told me na because he worked out so much, his heart swelled and the veins shrank.) so. he's dead. gone forever. so now, im watching this mtv. tribute video. "here without you" by three doors down.

oh my god, he's soooo dead!!!

sob. sob. sob.

it's saaad.

tama na. stop it. people don't understand you naman eh so ano pa ung point?

i won't answer that.


<<-->>


wala si gabie tapos natutulog si geny. (dormmates.) nakaconnect ata si geny pero tulog siya. bahala siya: tinanggal ko na yung connection nya. hehe. nagmamdali ako. toreeh ha?


<<-->>


dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb... that's me. i finally get to talk to that pakin migs and what do i say? "ay, basa." whaaaaaaaaat?

he said sorry naman. hai. weak knees... aherm. nasagi niya kasi ako. eh he was talking to charz. eh kasama ko si charz at si al. i was perfectly happy to let it all pass... i heard charz saying, "yuck, basa." when he gave the guy a man-hug. hmm. the guy took a step back and my arm brushed his sweaty arm and i said the magic words.

poke a needle in my eye.

tas i babbled pa nga. something about charz being selfish, about my es handouts, blah blah. agh. ihanap niyo naman ako ng pader, ipupukpok ko lang ung ulo ko.


<<-->>


what happened today at school? wala. sa math, there's this dude na pag lumilingon ako eh he meets my eye. grah. cute ko kasi. sa fil naman, we watched this swedish movie. buti naman. prof. baldy made us read these 2 filipino articles. natulugan ko kanina. take note, kumakain ako ng lunch ng mga panahong yun.

enwes.

what do i say???

ah, eto:

im awkward, im deluding myself, especially when it comes to you. oo, ikaw. gago ka. eh kung igapos kaya kita sa poste para makausap naman kita ng matino? hmm. at least, u don't hear the butterflies cavorting in my stomach whenever im near you. ewan ko sa'yo. you're supposed to be sensitive. im supposed to be that childish airhead. well, at that one, quits tayo.

yuckers, ende ito si migs. wala yun. distraction.

ano paaaaaa?

ah, eto. submission sa heights. ewan. kabanas. rowr. eat me.

speaking of which, im hungry. wala na kong pera, kelangan ko pa bumili ng sushi master outfit. nawawala ballpen ko.

oh, i just remembered. here are some of the reasons why the harry potter movie bothered me so much:

> daniel radcliffe in a tub, his only shroud, his egg and foam. ineffective.

> stanislav ianevski in that "circus shirt"--c/o nikay. oh, and that glance, that smirk.

> robert pattinson. yun. ah. he looks like one of those movie stars in the olden days, hehe. think black and white. tuxedo. or pwede ring, "bond, james bond."

haiiii.

tama na. you're overflowing. release it.

yEt anOthEr lotTery


pano ba yan? ang yaman-yaman ko na.

i slept at 1230-ish last nyt kasi naglaro pa ko ng caesar, hehe. i need to get the real thing. kaasar, ende ko ma-save.

kelan kaya ako magseseryoso sa pagaaral? duh. eh di pag may pagaaralan na. grah.

i won more lotteries. considering changing my email address. bwahaha.

pero but, im not going to win it cuz i told you guys, blah. haha. im gonna get scammed. kawawa naman kayo. wala akong pera, boys.

wouldve told you about yesterday's happenings, asyd from hawwy pooter, but im tamad. soreeeh.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

eNgLisH acCenTs riNg iN my eArs


elloe. whazzup?

let's get it on, shall we?

watched harry potter with verne, april and, er, april's friend. i was supposed to watch it with natsumi and charz pa but... well, due to some misunderstandings that kinda made me both mad and sad at the same time--smad, hehe--ako'y nahiwalay kay natsumay. ayun siya, kasama ng boyfriend niyang si charz, bwahaha.

well. back to the movie. harry potter and the goblet of fire. my head hurts. sensory overload. ang daming cute, sheeeht. pati ung weasley twins, ailav, ailav. hrm. nakakabanas ung movie. no, don't get me wrong. the movie was great. it was great. lam nio naman meeh, sensitib. cried, laughed, winced at the right places. i love the movie. it wasn't disappointing. it was great.

o, so ano yung reklamo ko? basta. it made me feel sumthing. kaasar nga. grrr.

hai. ang daming na ngang lalaki sa buhay ko, madadagdagan pa. grr. men with dark hair are the end of me. rawr. daniel radcliffe's a given. dagdagan na natin. robert pattinson. stanislav ianevski. nose bleed muna bago comatose.

ay, siya.

medyo disconcerting that draco malfoy looks like don michael.

grah.

do i need to post pictures pa nung movie? grrr. luwa na mata ko. futcha. o, eto na.

huwag na.. haha. ayaw ng photoblogger.

o sige, papalitan ko na yung wallpaper ko of chad michael murray on the floor (waiting for me, duh) and repace with my future husband. hulaan mo na lang kung sino.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

stEveN stRaiT




warren peace. cute.

steven strait. im crazy suddenly. oops. crazier.

he's perfect. a musician. brooding. the reluctant hero. byronic.

these are pics from undiscovered. i got this from, er, i forgot. basta. it's from a website.
i like him better when he gives his smiles sparingly.

hay. marry me.

get in line.
...
im going to sleep.

miSs fReSh fAce


miss fresh face. snort. i saw the other contestants. i could have won that ng nakatalikod ako.

model for bridal gowns, eh? sa bagay, mukha ang lola. maraming anak.

tv commercials? ng ano, patis? manure? vinegar fresh from your armpits?

miss teen bacoor. salamat ka taga-imus ako. more importantly, salamat ka nasa qc ako.

hoi, i kicked your butt nung third year ako. utot mo, gago.

i hate you. mas maganda naman pwet ko sa mukha mo.

long-legged. sus. whatevaaaah. get a razor.

how dare you use friendster to... to... ewan.

just venting.

1967 - 2005




EDDIE GUERRERO IS DEAD. I CRIED.
you may think it's stupid. i don't. i love this dude. he was supposed to be a saint. tapos, back-stab batista, malub, tapos yun. yun. im so sad. heartbroken. death. it's soo final. just look at the way we refer to the deceased person in the past tense. i mean, it's just that... he's over. really over. crap. cry. cry. rage.
lord, bakit po?
he's dead.
i'm in shock. still. this can't be true.
i love you, wherever you are.

tHe sEcoNd dAy


it's the second day. what was the highlight of my day? welll... i bought a calculator. haha. saya. 718 pesos. sabi ko kay mommy 500 lang. hehe. ende ako kakain 2 days.

...sarap ng feeling nung gumising ako. last nyt, i counted til 10 and i was asleep. dreamless. woke up at 7-ish. hmm.

math. my teacher's a scatterbrain. ang cute. we also covered, kanina, topics that took us 2 months in Ma 1 to discuss. woooow. bundok.

lunch. went to mcdo. ordered the kitchie combo. spilled sundae on a very-sensitive and pa-cute gab. hrrrrm. hehe. soreee. i spilled it on his inner thigh. grah. saya.

btw, natsumi's sooo hot today. haha. that was a lesbo moment.

filipino. he's bald. he's hot. he's sarcastic. he's scary. he's gay. teacher ko yun. writing din fil 12. grrr.

pe. arnis, ladies and gents. the teacher is a legend. i have charz and his best friend al as classmates. the uniform is 900 pesos. hmm.

something happened pa pala ng hapon. kilig moment, yuckers. must be my hormones. pheromones. im spewing them out by the buckets. are pheromones spewed? hmmm. basta. the men can smell it in my blood. parang kahapon. cute guy at libe. isel was laughing at me and the silliness of it all. ganda ko. haha. eniwei: cute. saya. i was drowning kanina.

ai, baydawei, paolo straightened his hair. awww. no more "cherubic locks"--his words. i told him myself. kinulit ko on my way to p.e. hehe. namimiss niya daw. ows. as if you were struggling when they poured chemicals all over your hair.

i like school.

ay, ano yun? kindergarten vibe.

Monday, November 14, 2005

hEya


first day of classes. i aM stoNed. that's how you feel pag di ka nakatulog ng mahigit sa isang araw. promise. try mo, masaya. you walk around like a fucking zombie, feel hilarious about the most trivial of things, suddenly imagine yourself smoking, and come up with sexual innuendo after sexual innuendo, while a guy (who slept last night) is staring at you as if you're uglier than a fungus.

hai. layp.

what happened ba? well, i had trouble sleeping. yun. eh, 1:00 am na. naisip ko, wag na ko matulog kasi hindi ako magigising. saya ng logic ko no? hindi naman kasi effective sa akin yung alarm cuz the part of my brain that responds to that alarm ay naiwan ko dun sa calatagan. nakaipit sa cd ng rolling stones ni tito medel.

yun. basta. ang ginawa ko, i played caesar3. built rome from scratch. saya ng lola mo.

so... after taking a loooooong bath, dressing up as slowly as i could, i walked to iskool but i was still early. 7. sa sec benches tumambay ako ksama si angelo. verne came by and gave me dried mangoes from cebu. hai. my dad gives me dried mangoes. noon. nung may pera pa kami, haha. ende, joklang. aherm. 7:30, english and lit. EN 101 is all about writing. LIT 14 is poetry and drama. i am screwed. why? miss lin is still our teacher. haha.

botany. scary yung teacher. i was expecting that. beadle ako, oops, assistant pala. wonderful. every meeting may quiz. oi, woman, you hold 4 vital units of my life. take it easy. iyak na ko.

katabi ko si candy cutie. hehehe. yun yung tawag nila sandi kay, erm, marco, i think. since alphabetical ung natsci--lec and lab--tabi kami. he has pretty eyes. he's adorable. he's weird.

hai.

toodles. im dying. i need to sleep.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

i hAve retuRned


i have returned. accompanied with my ever-present tummy ache. haha. cancer sa tiyan yan, ineng. wadapak?

i am currently checking my overflowing yahoo mail account. according to some of the mail ive got, im a millionaire. billionaire here in the philippines. letters from nigeria, telling me that they need me to oversee this and that. wow. now, who have i been giving my e-mail to? guys, if one of you got emails like these, please tell me. wala lang. tapos i won a lottery. damn. ano ba? don't tempt me. don't fool me. i'm dirt-poor and i'll take anything.

im going to france. but i'll go to japan first. what am i talking about? nothing. absolutely nothing. my mammmee's ryt. hmm.

yesterday? wala. hell. i don't want to go into detail. ewan. grah.